i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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