Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
