I want to make a zoo with you.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
