People in love make me want to vomit
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
