i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
