Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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