i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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