Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
