I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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