fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
