READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
