GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
