are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Can I color on your dick again?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
