Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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