you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
