After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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