When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
