Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
tequila makes me forget i have legs
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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