well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
