sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize