So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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