My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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