I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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