last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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