Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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