I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
That's intense
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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