I think I died a long time ago.
Soap is not a condiment
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Even my vagina gasped.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
