your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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