I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I love you.
Bad choice
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
