A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
