I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
did i just pee glitter
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
