I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
be right there i have to get my cape
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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