I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
