do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
