I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
