What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
