yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
