question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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