she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
