He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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