its not stalking. its research.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
