Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize