he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
