Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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