i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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