I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
