kristin has been a bad kristin
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
