never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
