I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
