Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize