I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I am mentally ready for anal.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
