I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
