A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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