Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
