Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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