Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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