If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
