somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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