Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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