mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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