i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
This beer is not sobering me up at all
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
