I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
